Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. High school. You know, This Guy was quite the man on campus in his school. When he ate his lunch, he had the entire stairwell all to himself. Not everyone had such an exclusive high school experience. But whether you were a lone loser, or the most popular girl in school, we all had an age-old lesson ingrained in our young minds: “Teenage suicide; don’t do it!” And we have Heathers to thank for that. Yes, years before Mean Girls or 13 Reasons Why, the original dark high school tale showed us the dangers of cliques, bullying, young love, and premeditated homicide.

Heathers introduces us to Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder), the newest member of the most popular clique in at Westerburg High, the titular ‘Heathers.’ Veronica is dreadfully unsatisfied with her new friends, and longs for freedom, and even a little payback against the ringleader, Heather Chandler. Enter J.D. (Christian Slater), Westerburg’s newest transfer, and a sociopath with a tendency to wax philosophical and bring a handgun to school. Together, J.D. and Veronica cut a bloody swath through their senior class, with some insane results.

“Our love is God. Let’s get a Slushie.”

First of all, you’ve got Wynona Ryder and Christian Slater. A new starlet coming off of Beetlejuice, and, you know, Christian Slater. Okay, so he wasn’t exactly the next Jack Nicholson like some thought, but you can’t deny he was white hot for like, most of the first half of the 90s. So, an awesome lead pairing, a super dark and funny plot, and an infinitely quotable screenplay. It’s a classic! We’ve all seen Sixteen Candles and Ferris Bueller, and all the other feelgood nonsense. This is high school as it truly is: a war zone. A dog-eat-dog jungle, where your best friend and your worst enemy can be the same person. Whether you’re an old fan, or a new viewer, a Heather or a Veronica, now’s the perfect time to revisit this cult classic, and there’s a great way to do it!

The Heathers 30th Anniversary 4k Restoration is going to hit select theaters August 8th, with a Blu-Ray release expected August 20th. How very. . .