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Some people want to be actors, and some people want to be superstars. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, has managed to become an absolute megastar on sheer charisma and work ethic alone. Especially coming over from  the pro-wrestling world (another realm where he exemplified the word megastar). Now, for a guy who sleeps a handful of hours a night, works out every single day, and has a dozen projects on the go at any given time, it’s understandable that he doesn’t necessarily feel the need to flex his acting muscles as often as we’d hope. But mindless blockbusters do tend to pay better it seems. And so, he’s been cutting a money-soaked swath through Hollywood, going through a WWE main event styled . . . “rampage” you could say. And yes, now we have an honest to God adaptation of the classic arcade game with the big gorilla in it. . . no, the other one. . . no the OTHER one.

Rampage (the original arcade game) follows a trio of mutated humanoid animals, George, Ralph, and Lizzie; wrecking shit in cities across America. You drop in, smash the buildings, repeat. Easy to follow. Easy to play. Brad Peyton’s big budget adaptation, introduces a new giant monster to the mix, primatologist, and all around badass Davis Okoye (Dwayne Johnson). Davis runs the primate section of the San Diego Wildlife Preserve. When a corporation called Energyne loses track of some canisters containing their genetic editing formula, one of Davis’ gorillas, George, is exposed, and begins to grow bigger, and more aggressive. And he’s not the only one. This little genetic mishap also draws the attention of a shady government agent (Jeffrey ‘leanin’ Dean Morgan), and Energyne’s executives (Malin Akerman and Jake Lacy).

“Oh, you don’t know about the 30-foot wolf?”

This Guy doesn’t want to slot Rampage into the same category as say, Transformers, but it’s also not Pacific Rim. It’s not entirely mindless, as the writers and actors work their asses off to make the story seem coherent, and there is a bit of heart here. Johnson and Morgan are both charismatic as always, and bring some much needed levity to the first half of the movie. Malin Akerman does her best to make it look like her emotions chip is switched on, which is unfortunate. But the rest of the cast treats the ridiculous goings on like a serious national crisis. There’s some obvious love for the classic game being showcased. But in the end, we’re just spending the requisite hour of early exposition necessary to get to the good bits at the climax. And that is to watch a trio of giant mutated animals wreck shit in Chicago, and then smash each other.

Rampage does boast some seriously impressive CGI, considering the relatively modest budget for its ambitious action and superstar leads. George, Ralph, and Lizzie look great tearing up the streets, the buildings, and each other throughout. It’s much easier to suspend your disbelief watching these three than, say, The Justice League‘s recent villain. The action is over the loud, frantic, over the top. . . come to think of it, it’s exactly like the game. Just smash, smash, button mash, ending. Well done them.

“I assume no one in your life has ever accused you of being a people person.”

It’s not exactly high art, but we’d be kidding ourselves if we pretended that’s what we want all the time. The Rock has been entertaining us for 20 years, first in the ring, and now on the big screen. We go to watch a big man do big man things, this time with even bigger monsters. Just sit back and enjoy, there are worse ways to spend a rainy afternoo–

 

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This Guy Scores It: 6/10